Defying English weather ....

Curse you, English weather! My challenge event today was cancelled due to the persistent snow and high winds in Kent. Unfortunately, having spent all of yesterday eating bread, rice and cake, the amount of glucose in my system was demanding some kind of work out. So I spent ten minutes of my Sunday hauling on my favourite winter leggings with fleece knee warmers, a skins thermal top, a thin fleece top, wind cheater, thermal gloves, face buff, wool hat, and thermal socks in gortex shoes. This is what I had to wear to defy snow, wind and a skating rink of black ice along the towpath for the next two hours of my Sunday, with a killer final 30 minutes hauling arse through bitter headwinds to home. I was, surprisingly perhaps, joined by hordes of other people who think going for a potter in sub zero conditions is a fine way to spend part of their day off, with others wearing anything from shorts (must be Northerners or Canadians) to puffer jackets (soft Southerners). Whatever gets you out there ... but I am so looking forward to Spring (okay, it is supposed to be Spring now but it will come properly ... eventually).

Running Away from Home

I can’t complain about a job that takes me to places like Hawaii and India, but combining it with running has its drawbacks. Once in training for an event it must be committed to, and in combination with a job that is also mobile it seems that I can no longer get away with one carry-on bag. Trainers and running gear must be packed along with water belt, gels, running watch, iPod and rechargers. In addition to the excess baggage, the jogger in transit also has to contend with conditions that may not always be ideal, requiring adjustments in order to mitigate any propensity to embarrassment.

In Jaipur, for example, there was a 400m running track around the hotel grounds that led nowhere (indicative perhaps of India's infrastructure). Heat and dust seeped into everything as attempts at a degree of modesty were also necessary; my baggiest shorts over knee length leggings is never going to be impressive. While I’ve always admired women who can still look gorgeous at the end of a marathon (like 'glamour' model Jordan, who I happened to run the Brighton Half with a few years back … well, not so much ‘with’ as a fair distance away from her bodyguard), I always end up looking like a stumpy, soggy mop at the best of times. To go beyond the bounds of the hotel grounds meant attracting more stares and the possibility of encounter with the ever-present stray dog against which no joggers' legs stand a chance. So a running machine became my best friend, in a one room gym facing the pool and lawns on which expensive tourists sunned themselves while pervy peacocks leered in through the window. Clocking up kilometres on a running machine is about as exciting as watching an odometer click over.

At the other end of the spectrum, Honolulu, I realized I had forgotten what space feels like after years of living in London, and this particular space is filled with smells of damp loam, Pacific salt, frangipani, wet neoprene, board wax, sun screen lotion, and sweat. An ambient soundtrack of mechanical growling was provided by US Air Force cargo planes taking off and landing, in tune with growling grey skies. It was embarrassing to have to confess to an Hawai'ian that I didn't know it was the rainy season, hence the amount of sweat (nor that the volcanoes were on another island). Just as well it's a reverse time zone to the UK. Wide awake at 5am meant I may as well get up, put on my running gear and get out for a long run while it was still cool. And no need to worry about being alone at that time. The streets and main roads along the coast were full of joggers and cyclists throwing themselves up Diamond Head before sunrise.

It is a sign of Hawai'i's status as a desirable retirement home that it was a mass of brown, soft, leathery flesh that I joined. Going at a slow pace, we pottered past a memorial service on the Honolulu promenade where the homeless waited for the crowds to arrive so they could begin their day's survival. Birdlife, cardinal red and pointy-headed, accompanied the route, while my angry toe became angrier in the heat, and all the time upwards towards the crest of the old volcano that marks too much of my childhood television. I had an uncontrollable urge to yell '5-0' or 'book 'em Danno' every time I ran by a police car. I ineptly attempted to find one dollar for the entrance fee to the Park by patting my pocketless outfit, but the ranger eventually lent it to me. It's worth the climb for the view and the admiring looks of Japanese tourists who jumped out of the way as I sweated past.

The theme of hills continued in San Francisco recently. San Fran joggers must be world champions at hill running with some streets sloping up to 31.5%. Running here is an exercise in masochistic calf work out. It is also a city marked by: 

1. cheeriness as fellow joggers acknowledge the loveliness of the day; 
2. elastic distances as the ocean moves beyond actual map coordinates (it’s those hills); 
3. clouds of marijuana at eight in the morning; 
4. homeless people camping in all available parks and crevices of this high tech, digital city.

That same mix of despair and optimism marked out what is now my favourite jogging track: Venice Beach. Another early start required to beat the prescient heat of a spring day, and along the beach the crowds started to gather for a collective paean to the outdoor life of California: volleyball and basketball courts, gymnastics pitches, muscle beach gym.

I wondered at first why Venice Beach was called a freak show, but then realised I'd mistakenly jogged to Santa Monica (turning right instead of left). Heading back along the promenade there was at some point a momentary crossing of an event horizon and then tumbling head-long into wonderland dodging every conceivable form of mobility: bicycles pimped with luminous wheels, skates and skate boards of all sizes and varieties propelled by human and dog, both wearing sunglasses, hoverboards, segways, other joggers, surfers, artists, musicians and the muscle bound. Past cafés, synagogues, medicinal marijuana, sunglasses, and knickers with slogans like ‘It’s not going to spank itself’ writ large across the arse. Down to the pier where the fishers try their luck in momentary respite, and then back into it again as noise and light and all the other shards of dysmorphia propelled my legs along the sandy boardwalk. Two hours of moving bliss.

Outside the cities, there have been many assorted hills, desert and deserted roads jogged along, skirting trailer parks with invisible dogs and people in search of a life off-grid. There was an aborted attempt to have a run in the high Sierra until I spotted the helpful signs warning of mountains lions’ taste for solo joggers. Running away from home may be occasionally inconvenient, even slightly mortifying at times, but it is always inevitably a slow engagement with the life of a place.   

Glass half full

And so it begins ... the first half marathon of the season, my favourite distance, and it's all uphill for the first five miles. Apart from the anger of my toes as they turn black and throw off their nails it's going well. The sun is out. It's neither too hot nor too cold. More importantly there's no head wind. There's a good crowd but not too many; enough to be anonymous but not have people get in your way. Along the roadside there are the bangers of pans and the kids happy to high-five complete strangers as they puff by; there are the bearers of sweets and fruit whose oranges are gratefully received. I'm not sure the bananas were a great idea though ... 100s of skins on the road are a comic accident waiting to happen.

Despite the hills, this was the first time I finished a Half without any walking and there is a certain pride in getting better. I've learnt that it's all in the stride. After being beaten by two giant leprachauns in the Dublin marathon a few years back I realised that keeping the same steady pace is the way to go. I've also taken up chi running. To all those that used to laugh at my flat footed plodding apparently it really is the way to go and the rest of you have probably retired from shin splits after sprinting your way around too many courses.

After the event a fellow runner drives me to the station, explaining that the knickers in the door pocket were his daughter’s which made me feel a bit better about hitching a ride with a strange man (plus I beat him by four minutes). As we chatted he noted a familiar feeling: 'You know, when I'm about a few miles into a race I think to myself, am I actually enjoying this? I'm not sure I actually like running. But I like the feeling when I finish'. So true.

We give up Saturday and beer, late nights and a social life, and there’s never any guarantee. You could train hard for weeks and then just have one of those races where everything goes wrong from the start. It turns out to be 27 degrees. You just can't get into your stride because of the crowds. Something’s not right in the legs so every mile feels wretched, ground out till the end. Just that little bit tired or tense, or didn't eat, drink the right amount of the right stuff, then swearing 'never again'.

Why, as one fellow runner was telling me, after being hit by a car and breaking his leg in four places, did he come back and run another five marathons and has now completed over 50 Halfs? We wreck our knees, ankles, feet and hips. I shed toe nails by the dozen. I have to do planks and squats in between running days just to be able to do it (it's all in the core I finally learnt after years of physiotherapy). I hate warm ups and cool downs but I am older and wiser and love my knees despite making them run 40-60 km a week on hard road in training periods. I hope that by the time I’m in my 60s, 70s, even 80s, I will be one of those runners whose muscles just remember what they have to do.

And why? Because we all love that feeling when we finish. 

These boots were made for walking ....

I have included a picture at the end of this blog of what's left of my feet. It's not for the sensitive. It is what happens when you run, walk, shuffle, hobble for 15 hours, 53 minutes and 40 seconds over 50 miles of sodden bog in sodden shoes and sodden socks burning up over 6000 calories in the process. Some of you have already shared the sado-masochistic pleasure of an endurance event with me. And many of you have sworn you will never indulge in such pleasure again. But I ask you, like chocolate ... can you ever really have too much? There is always that little bit of a craving to go further. And so it is that yet again I'm giving up my Saturdays and several nights a week and pints of real ale and cleaning the house and a social life for 3 months to train for the great Lakeland 50, a run that takes in at least four lakes and as many Fells passes in the lake district of northern England. There is a 100 mile event run at the same time but that's just plain crazy.

http://www.lakeland100.com/
http://www.lake-district.gov.uk/

Now 'run' may be a bit of misnomer. Taking the middle ground like a good Buddha I figured walking the ups and running the downs and the flat would be fine enough. The fact that I wouldn't get to see the course before the event, that we had to be able to navigate at night, and my training ground was Richmond Park, London, not known for its Fell like conditions, more manicured trails and wandering stags, did not deter me from making predictions about my finish time. And anyway, the weather forecast was for dry and mild conditions.

Given a list of all the things that could have gone wrong, having deformed feet at the end of it all is not too bad. There was a moment when an early checkpoint ran out of water and bottles had to be filled with coca cola. There was a moment when, finally finding myself on my own on the fourth section, all map reading skills went the way of my cap in howling gusts of wind, and I managed to take the wrong path finding myself in a caravan park on the wrong side of a river. Worse of course is joining another team for a night section and insisting you know the way because you'd been right up to then and would have been right this time technically if we'd been in Chapel Stile instead of Elswater. It was fortunately only a ten minute detour. There was of course the weather. It had lashed on the poor 100 mile runners the night before and while we were spared rain most of the day the damage was done ... the trails disappeared under bog and puddles and raging torrents as the water made its way down the peaks to the lakes below.

But in return for these hardships, I got to see some spectacular scenery (when I remembered to take my eyes off the path to look up at the scenery although this risked serious ankle injuries as the path at times was just a guess that the rivulet running over rocks hidden under shoulder high bracken was heading in the right general direction). I got to eat some amazing malty fruity cake that someone's mum had made by the truck load to feed some 200 competitors at 14 checkpoints staffed by the loveliest volunteers that tired, sweaty, dirty competitors could ask for. I got to be inspired by fellow Fells shufflers in what is clearly a sport for the older generation. I hardly saw anyone under 30 years. I shared a seat on the bus to the start with Janet, a woman in her 50s at least who still runs sub 4 hour marathons 3 to 4 times a year and had just completed the Long Distance Walker's Association's annual 100 mile event. Finishing in 14 hours, 22 minutes, Janet passed me half way through the second section and that was the last I saw of her. There are also the eccentrics that only endurance sports can bring out. I wonder if the man and his dog made it? The mad Italian who registered in the 100 miles just in front of me eventually finished in 42 hours, 40 minutes and 31 seconds! Torelli Giovanni Battista, you are a legend!

But I think the real reason we do it is the that there is nothing more guaranteed to bring out the best in people than sharing adversity. Even a self-inflicted one. My utmost thanks to Shelley, Ellen, Allen and Tracey who adopted me at Chapel Stile, the second last checkpoint with 20 km to go through unmarked sheep paddocks, bogs and bracken. If they hadn't so graciously given me their spare torch and led the way, offering as much support to me as to their own team members, I would still be wandering around the Fells trying to get home without my head torch (which blew a fuse at about 1am), looking for a 'notch in the skyline' that marked the beginning of the descent into Coniston and home (seriously, that was the instructions on the route guide ... hello! it's night time guys!!!). And there is no better feeling than to share the experience in the pub or around the breakfast table in the guest house with fellow survivors, easily spotted the next day by their limping gait and bandaged toes.

For the statisticians among you, the winner of the 100 mile made it back in 22 hours, 46 minutes and 29 seconds. The winner of the 50 mile made it back in 8 hours, 29 minutes and 7 seconds. This would have required not only running up the hills but also making like the Man from Snowy River and bolting down the other side on slippery, rocky steep descents. Only one female 100 miler made it back, in 31 hours, 47 minutes and 3 seconds. In the 50 mile the first woman made it back in 9 hours, 51 minutes and 19 seconds ... 6 hours before I hobbled over. I'd like to think that I'm not that competitive, that it's all about just improving my own times, that it's just between me and the mountains, but bugger it ... I really wouldn't mind decreasing that gap next time. Or perhaps going that little bit further ... perhaps another 50 miles further ... :-)

On Dogs and Women

Out for a morning jog around the colony of East Nizamuddin in New Delhi, I was suddenly aware that I’d trespassed into the territory of some fairly angry looking stray dogs. ‘Stray dog’ is a bit of misnomer in India. They’re not really stray. They know exactly where home is. And this lot weren’t going to have foreigners in it, especially running foreigners dressed all in black wearing a hot pink cap with a bit of mould on it.

Chased into a corner I held my ground against bared fangs and barked outrage, thinking ‘damn you Pamela Anderson for your sentimental interference in India’s dog curtailment programme, I’d like to see you jog around East Nizamuddin in your cossie facing this lot of rabid mange encrusted flea bags’. I was also reminded of other spaces that create such fang bearing moral outrage. While I’m sure the dogs of East Nizamuddin don’t care what my gender is, it seems members of India’s various Hindu cultural nationalist organisations still find it unacceptable that women should loiter in places they deem as places they shouldn’t be hanging about in.

Last week, for example, a group of women were beaten and thrown out of a pub in Mangalore by members of the Sri Rama Sene (SRS), the militant outfit of the Rashtriya Hindu Sena (National Hindu Army), panting and barking about ‘un-Indian’ behaviour. Why does what women do, say or wear still cause so much anxiety for some men? And why do women still have to bear the burdens of morality and tradition? And that’s not just in India. Europe’s in no position to be casting aspersions on the rest of the world. Please note the infamous arse slapping incident in 21st Century Dublin noted in the first posting on this blog. And English men seem obsessed with staring at the tits of Page Three Girls (oh sorry, that should be ‘glamour models’). Why did Karen Matthews become the pin up girl for male commentators who saw her as representative of the downfall of the UK (let’s not mention the myriad of men who control government and financial institutions and the mistakes they’ve made … instead it’s women who are to blame who have too much sex with too many men who end up fathering children they refuse to take any responsibility for). I’ve always been fascinated as to how George Bush Jnr reconciled his remarks justifying his invasion of Iraq to the Australian Parliament by stating that the United States was saving Iraqi women from the ‘rape rooms’ of Saddam Hussein, with killing tens of thousands of them in his military operations.

And what’s with the name calling? Apparently the SRS were throwing around invectives such as ‘prostitute’ and ‘whore’. I remember once walking down a street of Delhi respectably decked out in my usual salwar qamiz when, after refusing the advances of a group of well educated young men, I was called ‘a strumpet’ and ‘a harlot’. Clearly they were studying Shakespeare in the final year of high school. In a pub with a group of friends in Sydney, when we politely rejected the advances of a young man, his parting shot was ‘lesbians!’

Why all this acid throwing when a man, and by extension his sense of order and place in the world, gets rejected? In fact I think I’ll be so bold as to suggest that if we were to look at much ‘cultural’ conflict in our complex, diverse cities, we might find that it’s not always as much about ethnic difference as about gender, power and keeping sex in the family despite incest being our biggest taboo (‘family’ used loosely here to define a group of people with reasonably similar practices and values that tend to panic when someone transgresses the boundaries of expectations, like hoisting a dress too high, because that extra inch of skin on display challenges their authority over someone else’s body and mind, emasculating them in the process – I’m not referring to the genetic kind of family, I’m not that sort of girl!).

All this snarling and yapping and ogling and slapping. Time to do something about the dogs snapping at our heels, ladies. I say politely, pedicured with decorum, show them the underside of your joggers, your six inch stilletos, your doc martins, your loafers, whatever your footwear of preference!