Things I would not be without in the mountains

• Voltarol and tea tree oil (no self respecting Australian travels without the latter and my knees no longer respect me and require the former).
• Wool clothing, from bra to socks (even in a heatwave and even though you will need to mortgage your London home in order to buy it).
• A can of tuna, crackers, cheese, and trail mix (NEVER leave home without emergency rations).
• Knitting (for those short days when your gîte is in the middle of a cow field you will thank me that you learned to knit).
• A book (NEVER equate sacrificing a book with saving weight – there are much less important things you can lose instead).
• Floss and toothbrush cover (while all other forms of hygiene practices may become questionable, NEVER forget to clean your teeth).
• Tupperware lunch box (for all sorts of purposes you haven’t even thought of yet).
• Craghopper towel (worth ignoring its obvious alien origins in return for its enormous lightweight hydrophilic capacity).
• Batons/poles (you cannot carry 12-18kg of extra weight up and, more importantly, down mountains without looking after your knees – it will save you on voltarol in the long run).
• Eyebrown tweezers, nail scissors and file (there is no excuse for becoming completely feral).
• Gusseted trek pants: 

Now I may have fallen fashion victim in the purchase of my latest trek pants. They have no gusset (and let’s not even mention the muffin top they create). I have always just assumed that every trek pant ever made had a gusset so I didn’t check when I bought them. I mean, why, North Face, would you make trek pants without a gusset!?! Surely the makers of trek pants understand for what purposes their pants are going to be put, even by a woman. Or perhaps, sadly, they do just assume that a woman will put her trek pants on for a wander to the park and back.

The stretchy fabric of modern tech pants may be more flattering around the butt but if it doesn’t come with a gusset leave it alone. Those of us with hips and gluts know that no matter how stretchy, if you’re taking a big step in any direction without a gusset the crotch is just going to ride up and you may very well find yourself having to delicately adjust your knickers while balancing on a rocky descent, poles in one hand, other hand manoeuvring under the backpack, and hoping no-one else is about to appear on the trail any time soon because you’re going to have to keep doing this until you get to some level ground which is the only type of ground that gusset-less trek pants are good for. ALWAYS buy trek pants with a gusset.