Things we love about Norway ...

Things we love about Norway:

1. Honesty. The country is legend for the cost of alcohol and waiters are not embarrassed to suggest we drink water. On New Year's Eve we thought we'd splash out and asked if they had any champagne. 'It's too expensive', we were told. 'Drink the red and more water'. The red was still £16 a glass.

2. They positively insist that we take food from the breakfast buffet for a picnic lunch (are you listening Switzerland!), only the Norwegians seem to take vegetables and fruit. This does however leave more bread, pancakes, apfel stroop and nutella for my continued carb fest that I kid myself will be burned off after a few hours of pottering around on skis.

3. They can ski madly for hours, occasionally stopping to shoot at things, then get on their bicycles and cycle up the hill to home, on snow, when it's -14 degrees, balancing their skis on their bikes.  It's all I can manage to finish the same 5km circuit in 40 minutes, trudge up the hill dragging my skis behind me, and then spend 20 minutes in the shower defrosting.

4. They are really good at cooking fish. Even my 'vegetarian' meal is fish; a 'cold water' fish I'm told when I ask what it is. In Norway I wonder if there is any other sort. It is Dingo Baby's ambition to change his diet and he reads 'Becoming Vegan' at the table while eating reindeer four ways.

5. That beneath that taciturn exterior that respectfully refuses to intrude on my personal space by saying 'hi' when passing (except when they want you out of the way on a trail and if you don't move it's your own fault if you get mown down ... I will get over it eventually) there is a sense of humour ... coincidently appearing whenever I deploy my magnificent snow plough on the steep bits.

6. Berries: in drinks, in deserts, stewed, whatever.

7. Hardy facial hair, essential for dealing with gale force head winds ripping across the fells that shred anything stupid enough to have been left uncovered.

8. And the fact that they can be as smug as they like about the wealth in the country. Rather than give away North Sea oil to BP et al, it has been used to fund the largest global sovereign wealth fund, worth today 711 billion pounds sterling. Four percent of the fund's return can be used in the national budget for the current population of 5.1 million people, saving the capital for future generations. The country is ranked in first place on the Human Development Index (2015), comes in fourth on the 2016 World Happiness report (flanked by other Scandinavian countries and Switzerland), is ranked in first place for income equality (gini coefficient), and is second on the global gender gap rankings (again, flanked by other Scandinavian countries). In comparison, the UK, who gave its North Sea oil to private interests (at least taxed from the 1970s at 50% under a 'super profit' law, but a rate that has declined over time and was effectively abolished in the 2016 Conservative party budget), is respectively: 14th, 23rd, 14th, and 18th.

Way to go Norway.